i was gonna go see the messiah this morning but i slept in

it's as if god doesn't want me to go to church anymore. my mom's birthday was on monday, and of course you know i called her to say "happy birthday mom, i love you, do you wanna drive down to road that parallels the interstate and has all the staples of 21st century america, you know where you sit down and have a cute delta gamma sister write down your orders for sweet tea and loaded cheese fries before slamming down a 1500 calorie meal which is followed by the entire staple's staff singing--or better yet, chanting--some clever variation of 'happy birthday?" my mom, bogged down in grading papers, declined, instead asking me if i would attend the methodist church's rendition of handel's messiah. although i haven't been to church in three years, i said "sure mom, i'll do it," fully intending on doing it. so where did i go wrong? a friend of mine is moving, and i attended his going away party (appropriately and cleverly titled "john voyage!") on saturday night. i needed to wake up around 10:00 in order to make it to the service on time, but i set my alarm for 9:30 so that i could sneak in the first half of the arsenal-chelsea fixture before watching the legion of virtuosos virtuoso their baby off. i limited myself to one shot of tequila and maybe six or seven offerings of beer, and i even left the party before closing time. fell asleep around 5:30 and somehow woke up at 12:15, completely missing the performance and probably completely dashing my mom's confidence in myself as a human being. i called her later in the day, and we both exchanged instances of "well, it happens," and i guess her confidence in myself as a human being isn't completely dashed.

if i start updating this regularly, maybe people will read it. maybe i'll upload more albums, too. people tell me i should write. hopefully they're not lying? if so, i'm gonna kill myself repeatedly. metaphorically, of course, and a little bit at a time. listen to satan-affirming sludge metal riffs and be happy that artists can play god in order to create satan.